The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Craigslist

Now I'm not currently looking for employment due to my class schedule which I just expanded, but this caught my eye on Craigslist.

"As a member of the Bonefish team, you would be expected to make guest feel as if they were a guest in your home. The internal guests, your team mates would feel as if we were working in a cohesive environment to better serve our guests. If you feel you are a team player and have a passion for creating a lasting great impression for our guest then apply in person at..."

I don't think I should apply, I have many passions in life, but "creating a lasting great impression for our guest" is not one of them.

I also like how the corporate lings calls staff members "internal guests", they are not guests they are employees. What a crock, that line cracked me up though!

13 Comments:

At 3:22 PM , Blogger purplegirl said...

I've always thought a guest was somebody who you enjoyed inviting to your personal space, not whatever jackass happens to wander in. Why is it suddenly so taboo to call them customers? That what they are. They come in, they order a server, they pay. Guests don't pay or they'd be boarders.

 
At 3:22 PM , Blogger SkippyMom said...

I don't know if it is just me, but Bonefish didn't impress me when I went a few times. Poor service and heavy food. Not great and won't go back.

Have fun with your classes. YAY!

[I don't know if this is relevant, but my verification word is "oveying" - as I guess I was doing about Bonefish. LOL]

 
At 12:42 AM , Blogger Blondie said...

I actually saw that same ad and giggled a bit at how desperate they seem to be about stressing the "guest" bit. The "internal guest" is the most ridiculous term I've heard in this business... glad I wasn't the only one laughing!

 
At 5:27 AM , Blogger Banquet Manager said...

They're looking for someone to service the guest. At least
it's not another add for the usual sex freak. Craigslist needs to go.

 
At 8:37 AM , Blogger kate said...

I worked for a corporate chain once where we weren't waiters, but "servers" and we weren't taking care of customers, but "guests" (and were severely reprimanded for using the incorrect terms). We also weren't coworkers, but "team mates". Please...

 
At 10:02 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Poor grammar/editing (which implies a huge lack of professionalism on their part) aside, the whole concept of treating your co-workers as "internal guests" is laughable. While I've never worked in restaurants, this is something I've seen a lot of in the corporate world. For some reason departments are encouraged to treat those in other departments as "customers." But that's just silly. A customer has a choice when it comes to where they choose to spend their money, and much of the relationship a business has with a customer is one-sided, with the emphasis being on pretty much giving the customer whatever he or she desires (for better or worse). If a customer is disatisfied with the product/service they receive, they have the option of simply not coming back, or even complaining to the point where the problem is (typically) rectified in their favor.

But the relationship between co-workers or departments within a single business is completely different. For starters, if I don't like the way IT performs its job in my company, I can't just pick up and go to the IT department of some other company. And there's no exchange of money taking place, which means that my bending over backwards to satisfy the needs of a co-worker isn't incentivized by the promise of higher profits or sales for either myself or the company. Certainly, I understand the concept that if you were to treat your co-workers in the same manner as you would treat your customer there's some built-in assumption that you will give them the best you possibly can. But this assumption crashes the moment it's made, because the relationship is not at all analagous to a business/customer relationship. Co-workers are all members of the same "team," and unlike in a restuarant where you may have the goal of making money and the customer has the goal of eating, a team all shares the same objective. If you approach the relationship under such false pretenses, rather than acknowledging what the relationship actually is, your destined for failure.

 
At 4:30 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Internal guests? Honestly? If they even bothered to look at the definition of 'guest', they would know that it is impossible for something called an 'internal guest' to exist! You can't be a guest if you working for them. Idiotas! That was totally written by a douchey new manager that takes his/her job waaaaay too seriously. Seriously.

 
At 2:21 AM , Blogger hush said...

I actually am a manager at a bonefish and I have to scoff at this ad. Each restaurant is able to post their own ad and this shows why this shouldn't be allowed. Yes. We do like to refer to customers as "guests" and we do go way out of our way with the whole "the customer is always right" to ana annoying ooint, it is one of the more accomidating and wonderful restaurants to work in. Calling in if your sick does not ever mean fired, especially if its only for a day, and benefits are offered (and well announced) to those who want it. I would think again about applying. It really is a good corporation to work for. If you want specifics on the job, feel free to email me at sarabeth.andrews@gmail.com. I do not work (or I assume) at the bonefish that you would be applying to.

 
At 2:34 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

We had the same concept in Cellular customer service: you had the external customer (the person who called in) and the internal customer (when you helped someone in other depts, or vice versa).

I think external/internal customer makes more sense than external/internal guest. Duh.

 
At 9:08 AM , Anonymous vandervecken said...

i love the "internal guest" thing -- especially for a corporate place. it really drives home how expendable you are.

 
At 10:36 PM , Anonymous Nornna Butalla said...

I sometimes suckle at my own teets when customers take too long to order. I also apply vagisil openly in the bus station when I am having one of my frequent flairups.

 
At 5:07 AM , Anonymous resimaenglina said...

Nice post.
I have bookmarked this and will look for new updates.

 
At 11:26 AM , Blogger Jay Sims said...

Sounds like some roadhouse crap jargon. suppose you have to wear 35 pieces of flare too! I worked in a clown-suit roadhouse for awhile...team cheers, sell sell sell...ridiculous punchlines that had to be recited when you answered the phone..screw that. If I was a customer there, I would see through the phony BS right away and take pity on the servers.
windowlesswalls.blogspot.com

 

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