The Insane Waiter

Running wild on customers, chefs, owners and managers since 1997. I bring to you, The Insane Waiter. What do bring to your table? A crisp bottle of San Pellegrino ? Perhaps a lovely seared Sashimi Tuna? Start off with a wonderful bottle from Tuscany perhaps? Why I'll be more than happy to bring you your White Zinfandel and Chicken Caesar. No you can't order the mac and cheese off the kids menu and sorry no, we don't serve cheese sticks....

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Miss! Miss!

I walk into work on Monday evening with a positive outlook for the shift. Monday nights are usually busy, and smooth.

The day shift is excited to see us, they are ready to go home by this point. I check the station chart for my section and see that two of my tables are occupied by parties from the lunch server. If the hot food has hit the table prior to transition, the day server can keep the table. One table has almost finished eating, the other will be a transfer. Mary, the day shift who has both tables, wants to go home.

"Come on, Sarah, please take table 46! I really want to leave and they already have their food so it's like free money."

"Mary, they are regulars that I can't stand. The old lady is mean and as much as I love you, I do not want to take them."

"Please, Sarah, I'll love you forever and ever!"

I sigh and give in. I really do dislike this table, but If the situation was reversed and I wanted to leave, I'd ask for the same. Mary has both tables transferred, and then she goes to introduce me to the other table she had in my section. They are two nice girls and we chat for a moment as I establish some repoire. The mean couple at 46 are still eating their meal. Not even 30 seconds go by before I hear:

"Miss! Miss!"

I stop, mid-sentence to the girls, and look. The lady at 46 is looking at me and waving her arms like there is a fire.

I go over to them. Half of the steak they were sharing is still on the plate. The lady gives me an annoyed loo and gestures at the plates of half finished food.

"We're finished. Get these plates off of the table. We want to order dessert."

I suck down the myriad of curse words stuck in my throat, apologize, and clear the plates and mark the table for dessert.

Later, when I drop the check, the woman has mercifully gone to the restroom so I don't have to look at her. It was rather embarrassing for me to be called out while at another table. The man pays the bill, and they leave.

The two girls at my other table tell me that when I walked away to get the dessert, the old man looked pissed. He asked the lady why she had to talk to me like that.

Mary, I love working with you, but I'm not taking those people from you ever again.

46 Comments:

At 11:30 AM , Blogger SkippyMom said...

At least the husband had the temerity to say something to his wife.

Probably why she went to the bathroom.

 
At 3:40 PM , Anonymous ali said...

i always wonder how people like that end up with somebody. you wonder who would look at a lady like that and think, I want to be married to her for the rest of my life! :S

 
At 10:28 PM , Anonymous Violet said...

White trash gots to eat too :)

 
At 1:58 AM , Blogger Dead Poet said...

I have a question for you:
When my husband and I go out to eat, at the end of a meal, he frequently will take condiments (ketchup, sugar packets, etc.) and mix them all together in/on one of his dishes, making a disgusting looking mess. He thinks this is funny, and not a big deal because the dishes are going to be washed anyway. He never does this directly on the table, or on a napkin, only on his dishes. Still this annoys the hell out of me; I think it's rude to do to the server/busser's or whoever it is that has to clean our table off. I worked at a fast food chain and would see this on the trays and it always pissed me off. We don't eat at fancy restaurants normally, because we don't have the cash, but still, even at Chili's, wouldn't this be considered rude? Please let me know your take (and other servers if you know their opinion), please. Thanks!

 
At 10:47 PM , Blogger briliantdonkey said...

to dead poet: As someone who has worked in the restaurant business for most of my adult life I would answer you as follows: as a server,bartender etc (which I was for about 15 years or so) I would have viewed it as rude sure, annoying, maybe a bit, but mostly I would have viewed it as simply childish. Something I would expect from a 6 year old in other words. That said, as a server it wouldn't have really been any skin off of my nose.
Now that I am a restaurant owner, I would still view it as childish but in addition I would view it as expensive. I dare say you would be shocked at how much money is spent on condiments and supplies like napkins, forks etc; Things like that which end up being used is perfectly acceptable and part of the cost of doing business. Things like that which wind up being simply wasted is monuMENTALLY annoying as hell and adds up much quicker than you would think. Not simply in cases like your husband mind you, but also cases where someone orders a hamburger to go and the server throws in 6 ketchups,4 mustards, and 8 napkins. Another example is a table of two which gets enough bread(and butter) for 4 people. As a former server I can tell you this is done to a large degree to save them the chance of having to run refills on bread which makes sense. Until,,,,,,it invariably ends up in the trash. If they eat it fine, but more often than not at least half of it ends up being wasted which is maddening.

Bd

 
At 1:39 PM , Blogger Dead Poet said...

Thanks for the insight, Bd. We'll see what happens when I pass this on to the hubby.

 
At 5:11 PM , Blogger linda said...

I'm a new fan. I just found your blog through Aka Nancy Drew. I also have my own blog, Mystic Dreaming. If you'd like to trade links, let me know. I plan to keep reading your blog either way. I'm always nice to waiters even if they are a bit insane. ha!

 
At 5:06 AM , Blogger That's Scandalous said...

Hey! I love your blog!
I wait tables, so it makes me feel better when I know other people deal with horrible people.
I have started writing a blog about the scandal at my place of work. I thought you might like it.

here's the link:
http://www.sCANDALiNsERVERvILLE.blogspot.com

Let me know what you think!

 
At 10:37 PM , Blogger BizTone said...

@ Dead Poet:
This type of thing doesnt really bother me. I just stack the dishes, which usually have leftover food or messy sauces still on them anyway. I take them to the back, shake them over a large garbage stack, then place them in the pile to be washed. It's not that big of deal really.

@Insane Waiter:

My place runs the same way, with the lunch to dinner transition. The tables are our choice to keep or give away. That is the only real difference. I can totally relate to wanting to go home and kuddos for taking the tables off her hands.

I also know the feeling of seeing those regulars you hate come through the door. *cringes* It's part of the business, I guess.

 
At 10:27 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

This and the Barmaid Blog. Close up shop if there aren't gonna be posts for months at a time! Please! Some of us check everyday, full of hope, and feel disappointment when we see the lack of posts.

 
At 11:07 AM , Blogger Fonthill said...

Insane waiter - Love your site, I am an insane Manager. I have a similar site I just started restaurant-chat.com contact me, I have some questions for you

 
At 3:23 PM , Blogger Anonymous said...

It is such a comfort to know that the crazy stuff I deal with every day happens to other people in other places and I'm not alone in some sort of terrible Wonderland.

 
At 7:03 PM , Blogger Glutton For Punishment said...

you are most certainly a much more tactful person than I! The public needs to stay home sometimes...oy

 
At 3:05 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is the blog gone for now? I am a loyal reader but haven't seen any updates.

 
At 10:14 PM , Blogger darron said...

Maybe we can share links to each other's site? Love yours!

http://bitchywaiter.blogspot.com/

 
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At 8:58 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, take this down or WRITE SOMETHING!!!!!

 
At 1:33 PM , Blogger Apron Man said...

People suck! Oh, they do. Sarah, a word of caution: I hope you're changing names of people you work with, where you work, etc., because I was recently fired from a job I worked at for 17 years, on and off, because of my blog. Granted, I think it was a cop-out way to get rid of me without "laying me off" so I couldn't collect unemployment without a fight. Apparently I'd mentioned my bosses names and they "didn't appreciate it." Just my 2 cents!

 
At 7:24 PM , Anonymous Gem Scales said...

I personally, like to let people like that wave their arms for as long as they like... its amusing to see a)how long they will do it b) everyone watch them and c) the satisfaction it gives me to completely ignore their behavior.

 
At 2:21 AM , Blogger Void said...

"I personally, like to let people like that wave their arms for as long as they like... its amusing to see a)how long they will do it b) everyone watch them and c) the satisfaction it gives me to completely ignore their behavior."

As a waiter I would do that, and now as a computer technician people still try to do that to me at work. I just ignore them. If I'm walking around I'm busy. They should call the helpdesk if they have a problem, that's what it's there for.

 
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At 3:22 PM , Blogger Stefan said...

Bahahaha! I'm sorry i dont mean to laugh it's just i completely feel your pain. For whatever reason old regulars that come into any restaraunt think they have the divine right to act however they want. Almost like they own the place. We have this couple that has been coming to our store since we opened and have been sitting at the same table (table 12) since we opened. They refuse to sit anywhwere but that table, and have actually waited thirty minutes in a half full restaraunt just because that table was sat. I've never been a fan of the elderly but waiting on them is a real test of patience. Which you my dear, have way more than i do. I can take so much but the one thing i don't tolerate is waving , i will let a table sit longer if the begin to wave early. I'm not na taxi cab driver, and i'm only five feet away. Your hand flopping in the air is NOT going to make me move faster, promise.

 
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